Skunky Skany Crab

This restaurant ended up being a real dud and a disappointment. I wanted to like it, but I couldn't.

Both times I went to this sushi restaurant, I ordered the same thing: a California role and a spider role. This is pretty much what I get down on every time I go to a sushi restaurant. I'm not all that keen on eating raw fish, so I order these two types of rolls. They're like sushi, but for the person who might be a little hesitant about eating a hunk of raw fish flesh.

The first time that I came to the restaurant, I was really impressed with the fact that their Spider role, which the main ingredient is deep fried soft shell crab, actually had a lot of soft shell crab. Fancy that, a crab role with crab in it! Unlike other sushi restaurants that I’ve eaten at that only put a whisper of crab in their spider rolls, this particular sushi restaurant’s spider role had it literally spilling out. And the California roll was really good too. I knew that the next time I would go, things would be just as good. Sike!! My second visit left much to be desired, including a bottle of Pepto-Bismol.

First of all, when I got there, they had this weird "Roxanne you don't have to put on the red light" light bathing the restaurant. Since it was my first night time visit, it threw me a bit. To be honest, it kind of made me feel like I was in the red light district looking for some action. Nasty huh? Once I got over the "ambiance", I ordered the same thing that I had last time; and I sorely wish I hadn’t. The California roll was still pretty good, but the spider roll that I ate was foul than what. The first piece or two was fine, but the rest of it was gross. The crab in the roll that they used was clearly not at its freshest. When I ate the skunky crab filled roll, my face puckered in disgust and I spat it out, which is a big deal. I’ve never spit out food at a restaurant. That food cost money so you might as well get your dollars worth. But sometimes things are so gross that you gotta get rid of it. The crab was beyond ill. And what was worse is that when I told the waitress about the skunky crab that was in my role, she looked at me like a I was coo coo and fed me some BS excuse. Too bad the excuse that she fed me was better than the sushi that they served.

Now I’m sure you’ve noticed that I haven’t referred to the restaurant by name. That’s because although I had a bad experience, I won’t completely write them off as a bad restaurant. I will, though, say that they are hella mediocre. And I will also say that even though I won’t mention them by name, I will give a vague idea of where they are located. They are on east 14^th street between 1^st ave and Avenue A. I don’t think I’ll go there again (because I actually started to feel a little queasy after I left) , but if you’re feeling adventurous and you have an iron stomach, by all means.

Falafel Me Bitch!!

Maoz is a vegetarian falafel restaurant that first started in Amsterdam in 1991. Most of the Maoz locations are in Europe, but there are more and more opening in the United States. I first got a taste of Maoz when I was going to school in Spain. My friends and I went there practically everyday for lunch. The food was good, you got a lot of it and it was pretty cheap too. Needless to say, I was very sad when I had to America and a world without Maoz. At the time, the only one that was in the states was in Philly, and since I was living on the other side of the country, there was little to no chance of me ever eating Maoz again. I was so so sad. So imagine how happy I was when one day during the summer I was walking around 8th street, trying to find something to eat with some friends when I came across...A MAOZ!!!!!!! Oh how my heart sang! I was absolutely beside myself. Finally, I could stuff myself with the yummy Dutch goodness that is Maoz, and ever since that day I have.


Here's why Maoz is great. Even though they fry their falafel balls, they are always super moist, never greasy and magically delicious. They offer pitas in both white and wheat or they have the option of making a falafel salad. Once you get your falafel, there is a toppings bar that has such items as pickled red cabbage (sounds weird, but taste great), cucumbers seasoned with dill, sauteed broccoli and cauliflower, pickles, green and black olives and so forth. They also have really good sauces that they make themselves that you can eat with your falafel. I'm a fan of the cilantro sauce. It's a tad bit spicy with a touch (well actually more than a touch) of garlic. Your breathe might stink afterwards, but it will be worth it. Oh yeah, did I mention that the toppings bar is all you can eat? Yeah, that's right. ALL YOU CAN EAT!!! You can go back as many times as you like and get as much as you'd like. Another reason why Maoz is great are the juices that they make. They make their orange juice with real oranges. They make their carrot juice with real carrots. And their lemonade...it has real lemons!! Mind blowing isn't it? I can't remember the last time where I drank juice that actually had juice in it. And all of the juice that they make is juice. There's no concentrate or preservatives and it's made fresh everyday on site. Maoz also has these Belgian fries that bring tears to my eyes. It's wrong for fries to taste that right. Overall, I give Maoz two thumbs and ten toes up!! Maybe you're not a fan of falafel or juice that's made from juice. Go there for no other reason than the fact that it's all you can eat!!!

Cafe Orlin: Love Affair to Remember

This is probably one of my favorite places in the city to get breakfast. I first came upon it when I was looking for a place to take my two out of town friends for breakfast during the summer and I've been fond of it ever since. It's on St. Marks right off of 2nd ave. You'd probably walk right past it because it kind of blends in, accept for the fact that there are always a bunch of people waiting out front for a table. That's how I knew the place would be good though, because any restaurant that has a bunch (and I do mean a bunch) of people waiting around has to be worth the wait.

The buttermilk pancakes at Cafe Orlin are absolutely sumptuous and what I order every time I go there. I've had the experience of eating buttermilk pancakes that are either way too sweet or super bland, but these pancakes are what dreams are made of. They're sweet, but not too sweet. And even thought they only serve two in an order, two is almost too much (at least for me). They're pretty big and are quite thick and are served with room temperature syrup. I'm also a fan of their pumpkin pancakes.

When I first saw this item on the menu, I was kind of skeptical. Call me limited, but I'd never heard of pumpkin pancakes. And since it was no where near Thanksgiving at the time, I was really confused as to why they were on the menu. I'm the kind of person who doesn't get too loose with their pancakes, I'm not that kind of girl. I like straight up buttermilk pancakes. Millet, buckwheat, whole wheat or what have pancakes? Yuck! Tastes like bark sprinkled with dirt! Fruit mixed into my pancakes? Gag!! All of that stuff is just really extra. And the fact that they were serving the pumpkin pancakes with cinnamon yogurt really threw me. But I was, however, very curious about them, so I did what I normally do when I want to try something without having to really try it: I encouraged my friend to get it. That way, if I thought they were gross, I wouldn't have to suffer through a whole plait of them. Having tried them though (or rather having tried my friends), I must say that I'm a fan of pumpkin pancakes now. I'm not their groupie (that status is reserved for my buttermilk baby), but I can't deny the fact that they were good. They kind of taste like warm pumpkin pie: a little sweet, a little spicy. As for how they taste with the cinnamon yogurt? I don't know, I don't get down with yogurt in any way, shape, or form. Once again, gag (I think that it's the consistency)!! Something else that I'd recommend trying is the brioche french toast brunch special.

Just like how some men just aren't that into some women, I'm really not that into french toast. It doesn't really matter to me what kind of bread it's made out of: white, wheat, challa, what have you...it's all kind of so-so to me. I mean, I'll eat it if they're there, but like I said buttermilk pancakes and I are best friends. I guess it's the fact that they always tend to either be so try that you could choke on them or so soggy squidgy that they end up having the consistency of something close to that of whipped yogurt's which in turn makes me want to...gag! But, just like the pumpkin pancakes, I was curious about the brioche french toast. And just like the pumpkin pancakes, I got my other friend to order them so that I could try them without the commitment of having to order them myself. In the word of Rachel Ray herself, yummo!! I was absolutely pleasantly surprised. The toast was perfectly cooked. I neither choked or gagged. The crust of the toast was nice and crispy while the center was suuuper moist, yet firm. And they're sweet, but they have this bite to them that keeps the sweetness from being too much. I've never ordered them personally (because I just eat them off the plate of whoever does), but I think in my next couple of visits I'll have to forsake my pancakes and order them. Even though I'm very very fond of their buttermilk pancakes, I cheat on the pancakes with their home fries.

I'm absolutely in love with their home fries, they taste like Christmas in heaven. I'm not sure what they use to season the potatoes besides salt and pepper, but whatever it is, it really makes the home fries amazing. They're kind of spicy and a little bit salty, but they taste great and are a wonderful compliment to an order of pancakes or any of the omelets that they offer. They use what I think are red potatoes, which I prefer to the russet potatoes that a lot of other restaurants tend to use. Since red potatoes aren't as starchy, they don't leave that potato after essence that sometimes tends to overpower the seasoning of the food. Cooked with the potatoes are caramelized onions. Even though I'm really not a fan of onions in a bug way, I happily eat the caramelized onions. I also really like how they prepare them with the skin on and crisp them. I've been to other places where the potatoes are kind of hard, but these always tend to be perfectly cooked: light and fluffy but still firm. If there's one dish that have to get when you go to Cafe Orlin, it would be the home fries.

Something else that I've tried at Cafe Orlin is their chicken sausage. It kind of looks like a prettier version of scrapple (which isn't a good thing). It was definitely the most interesting chicken sausage I've tried. It came out in squares, had pistachio nuts in it and was kind of dry. The chicken sausage is the only thing that I would pass on from the cafe's menu. Since I don't eat pork (I'm allergic) and no one in this city seams to believe in turkey sausage, I thought that the chicken sausage would be a good alternative. Guess not!

Over all, I would highly highly suggest Cafe Orlin. It's in a really cool neighborhood (the East Village), the food is just wonderful (yummo!) and there's a lot of fun things around that you could do afterward (like free or nearly free yoga at Yoga to the people). Actually, scratch that and reverse. I would go to yoga and then go eat at Cafe Orlin. If you do it the other way around, than you really will gag!

Oh the Horror!! Naan, a Roach and Somebody's Coat!

So it's a Saturday night and my friend and I are craving Indian food. Normally I go to Jackson Heights to get Indian food because it's always really good and there are a number of places where you can get an all you can eat meal for $10. But, since we were in the East Village, we thought that going to Sixth street between 2nd ave and 1st ave would be a good idea. Wrong!! WRONG!!!! The Indian restaurant that we went to offered a six course prix fixe meal for $9.95. Now, even though I physically cant eat six courses, (because that's a lot of food), I still thought that this restaurant would be a good place to go and eat because of the fact that they offered six courses for $10. I should have thought that one out a little better.

The first course was some type of tomato-y mess that I didn't even bother to eat. I'm not sure what kind of soup it was, but even salt and pepper (the universal flavor fixers) could not remedy the bad taste of the soup. I wish that I could give you more detail, but I'm not really sure what I ate. All I know was that it was suppose to be some type of vegetable soup. Beyond that, it's all a mystery to me. The next course consisted of a vegetable samosa. This was actually pretty good. The outside crust was flaky and crusty, while the inside (which consisted of potatoes, peas, and other vegetables) was very moist and perfectly cooked. The samosa would be, unfortunately, the highlight of my meal. After that, it was all down hill from there.

The scrawny piece of naan* that came with my meal was the driest piece of naan I ever hope to eat. I didn't even know that naan could be that dry. And then, while I was eating some type of curry that was suppose to have chicken, lentils (which were no where to be found), and Persian spices, my friend who I was eating dinner with points to the wall and says, "look out". Now, when she said this, I thought that she was trying to point out some type of detail on the giant picture that was hanging only inches away from my face. No, no. She was pointing at the roach that was only inches away from my face. Immediately I jumped out of my seat and we called for the waiter to come over. But what was more surprising than the fact that there was a roach watching meat was the waiter's response to the situation.

When my friend and I told him happened, he immediately stated that it wasn't his fault and that the roach probably came in on someone' coat. Really? On somebody's coat? Is that the best you can do? I was kind of offended that he didn't try to come up with a better lie. And when we pointed to where the still there cucaracha was hanging out, he continued to state that it wasn't his fault an that it probable came in on someone's coat. "It could have come in on your coat," he said to my friend. "I'm not saying your coat in particular, but it could have come in on your coat." He then tried to make my friend and I pay for our entire (which, by the way some how came out to be nearly $30 even though what my friend and I ordered was totaled $20.). By that point, I was ready to throw up! Not only was the food not all that good to begin with, but the fact that there was a roach watching me while I was eating set me over the edge. The waiter only took $7 off of our bill (which brought it down to $20). He was very adamant that we pay this amount until I told him that we would pay the $20 and that we would then never come back to the restaurant. After that he completely changed his tune and said that we could pay whatever would make us happy. We paid the $20, which we shouldn't have but did because we wanted to get out, and left. From now on, I will make sure to tell everyone not to go to Taj Mahal restaurant on 6th st. between 2nd ave and 1st. ave. If you really have a craving for Indian food, wait. Wait until you can go to Jackson Heights, Queens and go to the plethora of delicious Indian restaurants that are just off of the seven line when you get off of Roosevelt Ave. Not only are these places good, but many of them are all you can eat, and they'll be sure to not have any roaches watching you while you eat. The morale of this story is: go to Jackson Heights, Queens if you want to eat good Indian food!

*want to try making your own naan, watch this video recipe for naan. Hope you're isn't as dry as mine was!

Welcome to a Skinny Girl's Guide to Eating

So here's my story. I really like food, a lot. I love to eat. You wouldn't know this by looking at me because I look like I weight a buck five, sopping wet, on a good day (hence the title). I'm a fan of all cuisines and am always looking to try a new dish (unless I'm starving, than I eat what I know because I hate trying something new and having it end up being nasty. I get really emotional when that happens). Like I said before, I love to eat. But since I'm not a big fan of cooking for myself (it always ends horribly), I do my culinary exploration in the plethora of restaurants that New York City has to offer. I want to try as many restaurants as possible and then review/blog about them. Although the majority of the places I review will be positive (because I want to weed through the nonsense and find the diamonds in the rough and then share them with others), there will be some bad ones. Those are pretty much my intentions in a nutshell. Go to restaurants, eat, and then write about them.
If you read the title of my blog, thought it was going to be about eating to get thin and feel like you have been deceived, I'm sorry for that. This is by no means a diet blog. Just like Paula Dean I think a stick of butter goes great with just about everything, french fries are a vegetable to me, I'm battling a serious sugar addiction and if I could, I would go to Dunkin' Donuts and get their number one (two donuts and a coffee) everyday. I think that food should be enjoyed and eaten uninhibitedly. Forget the calorie counting and all that other hulabaloo! My motto is, if it taste good, eat it! With that said, go out and take a bite out of life, and may it taste good while you're doing it!